We in the Midwest are pretty serious folk.  Jens Jensen, a wonderful Danish writer and landscape architect who settled in Chicago in the early 20th century, claims our environment dictates our personalities.  Perhaps the fact that we are children of the prairie, with its endless fields and a horizon line leading to infinity, explains our somberness of character.

Just think about the recent conversations you’ve had with your friends.   Politics is discussed with deadly import at most coffee shops, bars, and restaurants this time of year.   Whomever you support, the opposite candidate spells doom for the universe: it is a choice between FREEDOM or THE DEVIL.  And when we momentarily take a break from politics and start talking of our kids traipsing off to school, lord help us — we decry the technology, we shudder at lower teacher standards, and we gladly point to others as examples of bad parenting.   Somber talk.  Finally, when all of this “less serious discussion” is done, we get to the weather.  Yikes, drought and doom are traveling our back roads.  We are all going to lose the farm.

See, as I said, we are a serious folk.

Or are we?  In the heart of Downtown Des Moines is the oddest sculpture.  You’ve all driven past it.  Possibly even Ethel has elbowed you in the ribs and remarked: “Henry, I think that’s a darn umbrella.”   Yes, you can now tell Ethel it is an umbrella.  The Crusoe Umbrella by artists Claus Oldenburg and Coosje van Bruggen.  It is gigantic; it is amazing in it’s lines; and it will make you smile.

The Crusoe Umbrella is not serious.  For a starter, it is based on a fictional story by Daniel Defoe — The Life and Strange Surprising Adventures of Robinson Crusoe, of York, Mariner, as Related by Himself.  The umbrella is pretend!  It’s made up.  Moreover, the sculpture is not based on one of those mechanical umbrellas that shrink to the size of your palm when folded and has a cup holder for your coffee next to the GPS locator.  Nope.  This umbrella is modeled on one made from wood, plants, and fur.  Honest.  Still have doubts that this sculpture is about fun?  How about this: the Crusoe Umbrella doesn’t work.  Yup, on a rare rainy day, I went down to check out if the Crusoe Umbrella kept out the rain.  See for yourself:

So I stepped under the umbrella.

Trust me, I got wet.  This sculpture has one purpose — to make you smile.

Maybe the Midwest environment does make us all serious.  But a giant umbrella in Downtown Des Moines based on the made-up story of a castaway?   Come on.  Even if the devil is elected, our children need remediation due to bad parenting, and the weather destroys the crop, doesn’t this goofy umbrella bring a small smile to the corner of your lips?  No?  Okay, did you smile at the 4th of July float that consisted of portable toilets on a flatbed?

Joe

It is probably best not to reveal too much of our inner workings, don’t you think?   If people saw how weird we truly are, I suspect our neighbors’ fences and hedgerows would all get a little higher.  As they should.  And, frankly, it’s just hard to argue why you shouldn’t get electric shock and be placed in lock down.  Who better knows than you, right?

On the other hand, isn’t it a little bit weeny to hide your insides?  False fronts are certainly complicated, distracting, and safe, but aren’t you bored stiff?  What about YOU?  Sure, your few friends will disown you, your mom will mention that you’re not her child, and when you go to the grocery store, they will assign a clerk to follow you around while you do your shopping.  Do we care?  Apparently so.

However, there are some activities that allow the public to window-peak into our heads against all our desires.   Yes, I’m speaking about dancing.   Certainly, it seems simple enough.  In fact, the novice might mistakenly believe that you could count your way around the waltz in Germanic precision and keep the real you out of the picture.  Or that alcohol-fueled gyrations at a wedding would be considered the actions of an inner demon still lingering after the exorcism.  Sorry.  Good try.  Dancing shows your soul.  It just does.

Which gets us to Josh.  During the heat of an August afternoon, Josh can be seen watering the plants in the Des Moines downtown area between Grand and Locust streets.  You’ve driven past him a thousand times.  See, there he is:

But I want you to look closely.

Josh is wired up.  He’s wired for sound.  As he waters our plants, he’s listening to music.  Dance music.  And he’s dancing.  When he first started working for the City, he was worried what people would think.  He played his music and quietly watered the plants.  But as the hot summer progressed, caution went out the window.  “I tried to be reserved, but I was just bound up,” Josh told me.  So, he dances.  His partner is the hose.  He’ll boogie back and forth on the edge of the sidewalk.  Two-stepping and dipping.  Then, he’ll take a flourish off the edge of the curb, with a twirl of his partner.  Shoulder dip to the right.  Then back up on the curb with a chest thrust and a shuffle step. Really.

With a tall basketball player’s body, long tied-back hair, tattooed arms, and reflective vest, you still barely see him as you speed down Grand Avenue to escape work.  For Josh, work is a little different:  “Music is my life work; music makes me move.”  And off he goes without a good-bye, two-stepping west on Grand Avenue; his partner held gently in his arms.

Joe

Ethical behavior is a tricky subject, one I’d suggest not raising when you’re waiting in line to  buy the deep-fat fried pickles at the Iowa State Fair.  There are many reasons for this advice, but the most obvious is such a conversation will detract from the religious experience of worshipping the pickle in all its glory (believe me, there is a pickle under all that delicious breading).

However, isn’t it a safe time to talk about manners?  Since manners are the cushion for all our pushing and shoving and bumping against each other, perhaps we should give them a nod.  And what better place to study manners than the Iowa State Fair.

As we all know from our school days, if you want to measure the degree a group displays manners, go to the lunch room.  That’s what I did.  I stood in many a food line and I’m here to report: no one shoved, no one was upset, no one cut in line, and everyone was smiling.  Bizarre but true.

This was particularly surprising when you think that manners are learned behavior.  You just don’t have manners because of a winning personality.  You all remember: Sister Timothy Mary told you that if you pushed Billy one more time she would break your left kneecap so as to spare your right for genuflecting.   Iowans clearly learned that lesson.  Time and again folks at the Fair would apologize for being in my way, for slowing me down, for not making my day just a little bit brighter.  Really.  Go see for yourself.

On top of this wonderful behavior at the food concessions, you know Iowans are well-mannered when only the most obscure manners need to be posted by a sign.  For example, there is no sign about trampling across a flower bed at the Fair.  We all know not to do that.  But what about cows on the sidewalk?

We might need a sign for that.  And I’m here to attest that there was nary a cow or even a pig on the sidewalk.  So there you go.

Further evidence of Iowa manners requires a detour to the Olympics.  I’m referring to the greatest manners moment in London.  You might have missed it.  Gabby Douglas, the daughter adopted by Iowa, was waiting to see if she won the gold medal for all-around in gymnastics.  The camera showed her sitting on the mat, one leg tucked in an every-girl teenage pose.  Next to her was her coach, Liang Chow, from West Des Moines.  Liang Chow correctly saw that his young student was not being properly respectful of the moment in her relaxed manner of sitting.  He whispered to her and she immediately jumped off the mat and stood tall waiting for the results.  Amazing.  Instead of looking at the point total to see whether his student won the gold medal, this coach was concerned that Gabby show good manners.  She did.  When it was announced she had won, she now looked to Liang Chow, and he directed her back up onto the mat to acknowledge the accolades.  Wow.  That was manners and that was a manners teacher.  That’s what’s expected of an Iowan.

Liang Chow won no award.  So, in recognition of his excellent work in the field of manners, he is bestowed the original deep-fat fried food from the State Fair: the cheese curd.

I’d have offered the butter-on-a-stick, but my son ate it.

Now was that good manners?

Joe

Aren’t you loving the Olympics?  It’s seductive viewing.  In an unexpected way, it makes you feel good about humanity — which may be the surprising point of the whole endeavor (in addition to the clear Olympic mandate to sell us each a new car before the last gold medal is hung).  But have you noticed the emphasis by winner after winner that at last all their hard work paid off.  And they are right.  They sacrificed their time and put in the disciplined effort to get where they got.  Without a doubt, they’ve earned the accolades.

But, in applying the sacrificed-their-time theory, what about Roy and his gold medal?  Roy generally pulls up with his battered pickup truck about nine every morning in a post-apocalyptic parking lot off Urbandale Avenue.

He then sells Grimes Sweet Corn until as late as seven at night.

He has worked every day but one since the 4th of July.  Even as I talked to him, a steady stream of customers approached, clutching crumpled bills as they negotiated.  He would up-sell in a friendly banter: “Just corn?  How about tomatoes and watermelon?  You’re the only one that eats watermelon in your family?  Well, then you better get you one.”  See, better than therapy and Roy hasn’t even yet mentioned that he’s throwing in an extra ear of corn.  Everyone gets a prize.

Roy will work this spot right up through September.  When asked what he does in the off-season, he said he delivers pizza in Grimes, he moves snow, and he sells a car or two.  In other words, what Roy does is work.  He works in the blistering heat and he works in the numbing cold.  He doesn’t complain (who would he complain to — he doesn’t yet have his twitter site up and running) and he shows up.

Roy turned 45 last Tuesday.  He has three kids and a grandson.  What’s Roy’s plan for the future?  Where is he going?  Is he thinking about competing in Rio?  Nope.  Roy told me he plans to work.  Period.

Olympic champion?  Why not.

Joe

“I was born in the Waxahachie Texas Insane Asylum.”

Where can you possibly go after a street performer opens with those lines?  It was so outlandish, I did an involuntary check of my wallet.   Still there.  Okay.   I’m getting scammed, right?  But, isn’t the actual truth always just a bit elusive anyway?  And maybe the “actual truth” is never reached in a connect-the-dots sort of way — maybe it’s a ways down the mine shaft — maybe we have to work for it — maybe this guy is a prophet speaking in parables.   Or maybe I’m going to end up wiring money to Nigeria.  Mmmm . . . , but as my carny friends used to say as they enticed you into buying another set of rings for the ring toss —  you can’t win if you don’t play.

Encamped in Council Bluffs for a couple of days, I meandered over the Bob Kerrey Pedestrian Bridge that snakes across the Missouri River into Omaha.  Climbing out of the river bottom, I walked into Omaha’s Old Market area.   It was already in the 90’s and the streets were empty at mid-morning.  The lone exception to the smell of drying grass and the chirping of grasshoppers was the melancholy sound of a blues harmonica in the distance.   Down at the end of the block, tucked well out of the sun, was my harpist as you can see in this picture when you look deep into the shadows.

With a case open for tips, he was playing for no one that I could see — and playing his heart out.  I was hooked.

I asked about his life.  “I was born in the Waxahachie Texas Insane Asylum,” is how he began his story.  He explained that his mom was 31 miles from the “black hospital” in Dallas, she was ready to deliver, and had no medical facility that would accept her.  As a result, the insane asylum was his birth place, he explained with an infectious laugh.  “I’ve seen the birth certificate,” he assured me.

He was born James Ronald Alexander.  People call him Ron.  He was the oldest of three boys and lived a life marred by racism.  He told stories of education without books, violence in the classroom perpetrated by teachers, white men throwing bricks at him and his brothers, and being forced to attend a “school for the retarded.”  He painted his formative years as not too formative.

This story was related by a master story-teller.  His tones and vocabulary ranged from Southern Preacher to College Professor.  He was a modern-day bard.  I could barely hang onto one thread when he was off and running with a second thread.   He was amazingly brilliant.

I kept waiting for the hook.   Was there a mother with cancer needing just a few dollars for chemo?  Was he just short of gas on his way to be with his children in Colorado?  Would  another “tourist” soon appear who would accidentally nudge me and kindly lift the burden of any items I carried in my pockets?

And then he played for me.

Starting with a slow rendition of Amazing Grace that echoed back and forth on the empty market street leaving me mourning every sadness I’d ever experienced, he paused, took a breath, knew he had me, and then he really played.  Amazing Grace was still somewhere in the cascade of notes, which he would remind me by playing a short familiar riff, then off into the stratosphere he would go.  As he weaved his way around the spiritual, he transformed the funeral tones into a fist in the air in defiance.  And by the time he was finished, the cheers, the stomping, and the whistling from the suddenly appearing crowd brought me back to the present.

He goes by Dr. Spit.  His band is the Blues Mechanics.  Here’s a site for one of the many youtube videos of him performing in clubs around Omaha:  [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-uJ7a4QkETk].  Why he was playing for change on a street corner in the Old Market is a mystery to me.  But playing he was.

And, by the way, in digging around some archives for the town of Waxahachie, I found that Waxahachie was all about cotton and had a large slave population back in the day.  After the Civil War, Jim Crow laws were the norm.  Additionally, I found this: “The town’s first hospital built expressly for that purpose opened in March 1912. . . .    The three-story brick structure . . . was known as the Waxahachie Sanatorium . . . .  Dr. Wallace opened a hospital for blacks by 1948 at 438 E. Main Street.”  [http://www.waxahachie.com/images/HistPresPDFS/HistoricResource1985Complete.pdf].

So, would you like to buy three more rings for the ring toss?

Joe

Bartenders are imbedded in the American psyche, don’t you think?  What isn’t there to like about a bartender?  He or she is the modern-day pirate.  Not ethically pure, by any means, and not overly empathic (we are just one customer among many), but pragmatic in their advice.  And, most importantly, they are there to represent our wild side.  Simple.  Or is it?

Tucked away on the north side of Locust Street, deep in the East Village, lies the small wonderful restaurant — Lucca.  Jason is the bartender.

Tall, fit, handsome, young, with a ready smile, Jason’s there wiping the bar, greeting the newest customer, and talking to you.

He fits the perfect bartender image: warm, witty, and, without a doubt, your best friend.  He swipes the bar, gives you a few words, and waits on the front tables.  Every woman, and a few men, flirt as they pass.  He’s kind, engaging, and then back to pouring drinks.     He is your man.  And you’re caught in the flow, the rhythm of his work as he banters, wipes, pours, smiles, and talks.  Seductive.

Take a sip of your beer.

Five middle-aged women tumble into the restaurant.  Unsure of their surroundings, they herd up, grab the front tables, and aggressively demand pretzels at this low-key, white-table-cloth restaurant.  With a warm and welcoming smile, Jason responds that they have no pretzels . . . no peanuts . . . no popcorn.   He then states: “My son probably left some Goldfish in the backseat of my car — can I get you some of those?”  The women hesitate, unsure what just happened.  Jason’s warm smile reassures them.  They laugh.  Wine is ordered.  The rhythm continues — wipe, pour, smile.

What did just happen?  Jason’s son is named Nolan.  He’s three-and-a-half.  As a single dad, Jason is Nolan’s day care.  Every day around 6 a.m. he picks up Nolan from his mom and they hang.   They get coffee from Zanzibar’s, peter away the morning, and then they swim.  Every day.   Jason works at Lucca for several reasons; but, foremost, it allows him to be with his son.  Quantity time.

What’s going on here?  Where is the wild and crazy bartender of yore?  We know where to find the squeaky-clean preacher, the overly loyal cowboy, and the fresh-faced farm girl,  but where is the morally loose pirate?  Jason leans across the flat surface, bar rag in hand, and tells me in his soft voice that he is in fact adopted.  “My son is the only blood relative I know,”  Jason tells me.   “Every day spent with  my son is a gift.”

Damn.  And Jason’s son, Nolan, does he want to be a pirate?  Nope.   Dressed in the latest deep-space gear that looks suspiciously like underwear, he informed his dad he wants to be an astronaut.

Who doesn’t — with the right gear and the right dad.

Joe

I’m fairly certain that the end of time is upon us.  I mean, come on, it’s just too hot.  And it’s been too hot for too long.   The strange winter was certainly a harbinger of the times ahead, but this heat and drought is the real thing.  I’m not ruling out that this may be a replay of God’s wrath on a recalcitrant people.   Who of you can say you haven’t sinned?   Right?  By the way, please don’t answer that question by e-mail.  Duh!

To give credence to this theory of doom, I was west of Newton, when I saw these critters in somebody’s yard before they scurried off:

Yes, I think we can safely call these living-room sized beasts the biblical LOCUSTS.  End of the argument that this is the end.

So, what to eat on your last days?  I have a few recommendations.  Start your morning with  an old-fashioned coffee cake from Starbucks.

My app says it weighs in at 440 calories and it is deliciously buttery.  Excellent beginning to the end.  If you add a white chocolate peppermint mocha grande to that delight, we’re talking an additional 350 calories.  Nearly 800 calories and you haven’t yet had breakfast — which all diet books stress you should not skip if you want to remain faithful.  We do.

Let’s have a couple slices of homemade spinach quiche from Ritual Cafe as a way to break our fast.  Mmmm . . . good.   576 calories of creamy deliciousness.   Death by pleasure.  I volunteer.

Oh, look, with the car air conditioner running nonstop, we need to gas up at Casey’s.  You connoisseurs may be dismayed by this, but their pizza makes my heart flutter.  Two slices should make it flutter a little more.

842 calories and a full tank of gas.  Life is Wonderful.

Oops, there’s McDonalds — just a few fries to get home (380 calories) — and voila, here they are!

Home at last, but it is nap time.  Caution: don’t lie on your stomach for fear of SIDS: Sudden Indigestion Delayed Syndrome (not as medically well-known as you’d think).

Awaking refreshed and hungry, it is time for a little french baguette from La Mie (180 calories for one serving) and cheese from The Cheese Shop (1 oz at 110 calories):

Don’t eat too much because dinner time is near.  Tonight we’re going for the Dairy Queen Chicken Strip Basket – 4 piece with Country Gravy.  1030 calories.  Washed down by the delicious medium chocolate malt — reasonably coming in at 790 calories.

4,698 calories later, it is time to find a spot to sleep . . . .

Hah!  Just a small joke.

No, be like my nephew Nick — kick back, pull down your shades, let your hair stick out, and watch the world go by — it is the right attitude for the end of time as appropriately shared with a plate full of fries.

Stay cool.

Joe

There is certainly an Iowa morality.  Right?  You know the basics: don’t toot your own horn when you win an award for best stocker at Hy Vee; don’t yell at someone just because they cut in front of you at the buffet line (they must have their reasons); be polite to strangers who are visiting from out of town even though they don’t realize we don’t talk that loudly or step that closely to each other.  When I think about it, our morality is an old-fashioned rural morality in a state that is no longer really rural.  But it works.

As we speak, there is an Iowa morality play occurring in downtown Des Moines.  Surrounded by Goliaths on all sides — Wellmark to the north, Meredith to the west, Nationwide to the south, and Principal to the east — and tucked into the middle of a small block, is an oasis of Iowa life: Ritual Cafe.  When you glance from the outside, the windows reflect only the large downtown buildings.  The inside, however, beckons.

You open the door to an amazing blast of light and color and funkiness.  Oh, and by the way, great lattes.

Local artists hang their paintings from the walls.  Photographs grace the interior.  Prayer flags and rainbow colors are hung throughout the cafe.  And posted on multiple surfaces are the upcoming music acts  soon to perform on the small stage in the corner.

Who creates such a joyfully raucous place?  Enter from the wings — Linda and Denise — business partners for seven years.  I want to tell you about Denise (Linda will have to be a story for another day).

Denise is one of seven children.  Raised in the Valley Junction area of West Des Moines (when her grandfather was offered  four pennies more than his last job, he came to work for the railroad in Iowa), she spent 12 years in the Catholic School system and then packed her bags.  Off she went to San Francisco.  For just nine months, she thought.  Oops.  Nine years later, she returned to Des Moines.  Going to several different Iowa colleges, she earned her keep by learning the barista business.  Years passed.

Linda and Denise decide to open a coffee shop and vegan eatery in Des Moines.  A dream.  Totally impossible, they thought.  Amazingly, all the loans were approved, the perfect building was found — and then tragedy.   The city closed the only access road.  And at that time they were surrounded, not by mega-insurance groups, but empty lots, torn-up buildings, drifting street people, and a shattered dream.  Hard times.

Denise’s mantra is simple: you have to dream and do — you have to dream and do — you have to dream and do.  And that’s what she did.  And they survived.

Today, one could argue, Ritual Cafe sits in the center of the most lucrative business location in Downtown Des Moines.  Not only surrounded by big business, but it is plopped right in the middle of the Sculpture Garden, the Pappajohn Center, and the new Public Library.  Dreaming and doing — Denise’s mantra paid off.

Which is not what I want to talk to you about.

Denise is shy, self-effacing, and normally in the background at the business.  She and Linda’s wonderful staff joke and laugh and yell greetings to one and all.  Denise, however, stays in the shadows.  Her broad smile and sparkling eyes welcome — but she vanishes from the scene.  What’s going on?

Denise’s mom has been quite ill.  Open-heart surgery.  Stroke.  She has needed help — hands-on type help.  Denise quietly stepped up.  She cut back her hours at Ritual, she changed her personal life, and helps her mom.  Period.   Oh yeah, Denise told me “I pray a lot.”

There’s no fanfare for this service.  No signs posted at Ritual that Denise is off taking care of her mom.  No request for donations for the Pity Denise Bus.  This is Iowa morality.  Low key.  Gentle.  But a backbone of iron.  Heavy on the “doing” portion of her mantra, wouldn’t you say?

 And the two rose tattoos?  They’re for her mom.

Joe

If you’re going to live in Iowa, you need to go to the Opera.

Listen, like you, I hear “opera” and pull my baseball cap down a little tighter as I check the schedule for Monster Truck Shows at the fairgrounds.  I get it.  We Iowans have other summer treats: the small-town carnivals that specialize in deep-fried foods that are a warm-up for the State Fair; the delicious hot dogs sold outside the grocery stores by laughing older men wearing white aprons and white fluted hats; and, most importantly, the sweet corn stands that magically appear on every corner with an awning over the flatbed truck and an old farmer sitting on a folding chair in the truck shade.  But the Des Moines Metro Opera is world-famous.  People come from all over the United States to see the three shows produced each summer.   It is an event that it without parallel in the Midwest.  In other words, my wife wanted to go.  So we went.

It was opening night for Eugene Onegin: a Russian Opera of all things.  Don’t worry, I’m not going to tell you about the amazingly lyrical music, singing that makes you wonder if it is fake it’s so good, and an immediacy to the staging where you might believe you are a member of the chorus and start singing.  Nope.  I want to tell you about the gun shot.

Guns have an interesting recent history in Iowa, if you haven’t heard.  Everybody and their mother can now go packing under the Iowa Carrying Weapons law merely by making a small request to your local sheriff.  No longer do you have to come forward and give a reason why you need to carry two handguns tucked in your belt and one hidden in your boot when you shop at Wal-Mart.  You just need to get a permit.  Really.  And the video games and the movies that are gorefests of shootings?  We are all so jaded that even vegetarians are blasé about all the mayhem and are seen leaving their movie seats for popcorn in the lull between murders.

WE ARE GUN CRAZY — RIGHT??!

Well, apparently not at the opera.  When you walk into the cool, modern opera hall in Indianola, where the Des Moines Metro Opera performs, there is this gilded sign of welcome:

 But tacked on the wall within a few feet is this cautionary notice:

Oh no!  Not a “gunshot!”  Yes.  During the second act.  I actually heard the shot.  Do you want to hear it?  Snap your fingers.  There, you heard it.  Terrifying.

What’s going on here?  Not a clue.  But, here’s what should be going on. . . .   Eugene Onegin is a dangerous opera.  It is full of love, passion, love lost, regret, despair, hard choices, and gutting it out.  It is an opera that is dangerous to your heart.   It could kill you.  The gunshot in Act II?  Not so much.  I want to believe that this sign was created by someone from the Des Moines Opera — a romantic opera-nut of course —  making fun of all this gun craziness.  This is a deflection joke: watch my right hand while my left hand palms the coin.

This sign alone is why you should go to the opera.  Last productions of Eugene Onegin are tonight and July 13th.  And, by the way, leave that derringer in your boot at home.

Joe

Without a doubt, magic resides in strange places.  Sometimes it is located in some exotic faraway land that requires multiple plane exchanges, vehicle travel up narrow cliff roads, and, at the top, the donning of mystical robes with lots of chanting.  Other times it is tucked away in the furrowed trunk of an old tree that is nestled in your backyard with just enough of a tree burrow at the base that if you get down on your hands and knees you might see a tiny old man dressed in green sweeping out his kitchen.  Yes, magic’s location may be part of the mystery — but there are places that are generally a safe bet for magic exploration — toy stores, forests, old houses with attic dormer window protruding out into the night sky, and any barn that still smells of hay — to name a few.

With the growth of malls and multiplexes, the movie theater has long been removed from any “magic list.”  The aficionados of movies harken back to their youth and disdainfully reject any magic in a place that has a large parking lot, multiple ticket windows, and a concession booth that is run like the checkout at Target — but more expensive.  BIG MISTAKE!

This is my neighborhood movie theater at eleven this morning — Carmike Wynnsong Theaters.  The large parking lot and large front-glass windows are totally a disguise.  Don’t be fooled.  You need to look past the disguise, walk through the 90+ heat blasting off the concrete entry, and open the door.

Wow!  You’ve arrived.  The swish of cool air is the first sign that you’ve stepped through a portal.  The young ticket taker is working behind multiple windows in a booth that announces the carnival inside by lights and music and a microphone-tin voice talking through a hole in the glass.  You are almost there . . . .

Once you’re past the ticket booth and go through the second portal, the overpowering buttery smell of popcorn will cause you to swallow as you walk into the fantasy lobby:

Bright lights, murmuring voices, popping corn, and mirrors await.  And here is Ian at the popcorn — churning out a mountain for the late morning shows.  I’m wagering Ian does double duty as the clown.

Fortified for the next hour and forty minutes, you head to your theater, but you must first be allowed to enter by the gatekeeper, Lissy — a broad-smiling young woman with twinkling eyes who will get you to your correct location after taking your ticket.

With some trepidation, you enter the dark canyon that beckons to your show — and there is the mysterious, watchful glance of Emmett, looking like a Vermeer painting and keeping one eye on your safe passage:

Straining all your senses in the dark, stumbling on the soft carpet, and patiently waiting for the giant screen to light up and whisk you to another world — you’ve finally arrived.  Magic is now in play.

Then time stops, . . . your mouth drops open, . . .  and you watch your movie.

After existing only in your head and heart for one to two hours, the body that-is-not-quite-you will stiffly stumble to the doors when the movie is over.   You are a different person than when you arrived:  years older, eons wiser, and perhaps now having Spiderman skills.  You have been transformed.  Magic.

Don’t worry, as you leave you can stop by Ian’s and take a bit of the magic with you.

Joe