I’m all about giving lawyers a hard time. Why not? They are inherently unlikable as a group. Duh. They only appear in a crisis or to prevent a crisis or to help you cause a crisis for others.

Clearly, they are the cause of most problems and the proof is in the pudding. Whenever you are picked up for drunk driving, who’s always there? Lawyers. Whenever you want to cut your good-for-nothing son out of your will, to whom do you turn? Lawyers. When an unconstitutional law against women is passed by the Iowa legislature, who is it that sticks their noses into our business to stand up for women’s rights? Yup, you guessed it, lawyers. They must be the CAUSE of us being drunk drivers and miserly parents and for writing unconstitutional laws against women. Obviously.

But even I am a little taken back by Civic Skinny when it made fun of wannabe lawyers for not passing the Iowa bar exam. To become a lawyer in Iowa, besides going to law school and being a descent sort, you have to pass an exam.

THIS EXAM IS HORRIBLE!

It lasts days, is full of anxiety and worry, and is the culmination of studying 24-hours-a-day for two months. Not only did I take this nightmare of an exam and unbelievably pass, but for nearly 20 years I taught the sections on Criminal Law and Criminal Procedure in preparation for students to take this exam. Trust me, good students take this exam and sometimes fail. Good students take this exam and sometimes panic. Good students take this exam and sometimes just get unlucky.

FAILING THIS EXAM DOES NOT MEAN THE PERSON WILL BE A BAD LAWYER. Sorry.

My wife and I took the exam together many years ago. We were leaving after the first day and my wife asked how I did on the Contracts question.

“What Contracts question?” I said stunned. “Do you mean the Constitutional Law question?”

Yikes! Were we lucky or unlucky? We both passed. Lucky it was.

The statistics for the February exam were harsh. Of the 18 folks who took the exam for the second time,10 failed. Of the six folks who took the exam for the third time, five failed. Of the three folks who took the exam for the fourth and fifth time, all three failed. And the person who took the exam for the sixth time? Lo and behold, magic, they passed.

What does this mean?

Contrary to Civic Skinny’s observation, absolutely nothing about the lawyering skills of those that failed.

During my many years as a prosecutor, the best trial lawyer in the state of Iowa failed the bar two times. Yup.

And what does it mean to take this exam two or three or four or twenty times?

It shows dogged determination and character.

I’ll settle for that in a lawyer — even though lawyers are clearly responsible for climate change.

Joe